Wannabe

Merry Christmas!!!

On another completely unrelated note, I have made a discovery about myself recently.  Lucky for you I've decided to dedicate this post to sharing it with the world.   I've always put my friends at the same level that I put my family because to me, my friends have always been like family, especially the past four years.  I am what you call a "people-person" and extremely social. As much as this is one of the things I love about myself, this is also been a problem for me when it comes to the romance department.

Quick background: Minus about one short fling at one point each year of college, I've basically been living up the single life and loving every second of it.  I had my fair share of relationships throughout high school including one serious one, but nothing really serious since.

At the risk of sounding conceited, in theory I'm a great girlfriend: I love all of the domestic stuff, I'm extremely trusting, I don't get jealous, I like having my "space," I LOVE football, I'm loyal, I'm a dancer (I could go on but I'll digress)...

I am definitely not clingy.  This has become a problem though; my friends take precedent over guys, any day.  I didn't realize it but one of the biggest problems I had with my last serious boyfriend; that I would miss-understand what he meant when he said he wanted to "hang out." For example: we would decide we were hanging out, and then I would go and make plans for us to hang out with a bunch of people.  I saw no problem with this and would be confused when he would no longer want to come along.  I didn't understand that he just wanted to spend time with me without everyone else present.  I didn't understand why half the time this happened, he would get crabby, say: "no it's fine. go hang out with your friends," and end up not coming out. But because I sometimes take everything for just face value, I would say "okay, love you" and go out like nothing was wrong.

He later explained this phenomenon to me by saying, "well I wasn't dating all of our friends, I was dating you.  There are times when it's nice to be alone with the person you love."  While that is very sweet and romantic and whatever, that never was (or is) my first priority. I know that many girls would kill for a guy to want that or to say that to them but, I am not most girls.  I appreciate this but also find it annoying. I don't like feeling smothered and I also don't like feeling left out.  I mean don't get me wrong, I love being romanced as much as the next girl, but something just turns me completely off if I feel someone is making me choose between my friends and himself.  Sorry boutcha, I'll choose my friends.

Here's what this has made me realize.  I know that the right guy just hasn't come along yet. I mean I'm NEWLY 23 years old for pete's sake. I have plenty of time and I'm aware of it. (Don't worry, not trying to settle down any time soon). BUT I've also come to realize that I need to end up with someone who's as social as I am, that appreciates time with groups as much as I do, and knows how to make a relationship work around that.  As corny as it is, at the end of the day, I know when the right guy comes along, I would pick him over my friends but at the same time he'd never make me do that.  Something for me to remember when that boy comes along I guess...

Merry Christmas Everyone,

Alli